Holding The Group Back

Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ian Underwood (alto saxophone, piano)
Bunk Gardner (tenor saxophone, clarinet)
Motorhead Sherwood (baritone saxophone, tambourine)
Roy Estrada (bass, vocals)
Don Preston (electric piano)
Arthur Tripp (drums, percussion)
Jimmy Carl Black (drums)
Members of The BBC Symphony Orchestra

(Just a few weeks before this show, the Pope had announced a ban on birth control pills (in spite of the persistent rumors that the Vatican had major financial holdings in a Swiss company that manufactured the little devils). To commemorate this, Roy Estrada strides on stage wearing a floor length chain-mail dress with enormous aluminum tits, and an ornate Catholic ceremonial head-dress. He is carrying a childs plastic sand bucket filled with SMARTYS (the British equivalent of M&Ms). The inscription on the bucket reads NO MORE UGLY BABIES! While chanting in Latin, he hurls fistfuls of candy into the audience, in lieu of birth control pills.

He approaches Ian in his robotically transformed state and begs for an audition as an opera singer with Ians new group, claiming that he has to leave The Mothers -- he's holding the group back because he's a Mexican (He actually used to think this was true, and told me so on several occasions.)

FZ:
Then from out of the corner from the stage comes Roy Ralph Estrada perturbed at the present situation within the Mothers.

Roy Estrada:
Domino Domino Vo-bisqu-u-u-um
Domino Vo-bisqu-u-u-um
Amen
Domino Vo-bisqum
Hallelujah
Et cum spiritu tuo
Ian, I dont think I qualify for the Mothers


FZ:
They're making up their lines as they go along isn't it thrilling?

Ian:
Why, Roy?

Roy:
Because I don't think I'm qualified. I think I'm holding the group back because I'm a Mexican, and also because I don't play bass good.

Ian:
I don't care how you can play bass but we have no Mexicans in this group.

Roy:
And I wanna join your group.

Ian:
No Mexicans!

Roy:
I can sing opera, I cut my hair, I got all my shit together here. I can do it.

Ian:
I don't care how you look you gotta be able to cut the part.

Roy:
I can sing, please, please, give me a chance.

Ian:
I don't believe you can sing.

Roy:
Please, please hear my plea, please Ian please, I can do it, give me a chance. Please, please. Oh, oh, oh, please.

Ian:
Okay mexican, okay Mexican, sing this note.

Roy:
You think everything is gonna be alright.

Ian:
Okay you passed the first part of the audition now you gotta sing. Roy:
Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi