- Jack Kevorkian Is Cool
- Valujet
- You've Got No Friends
- You Keep A Diary
- You Own A Store
- You Got Date Raped
- Recycling Is Gay
- You're A Cop
- You Can't Shut Up
- You've Got Cancer
- We Just Disagree
- Hungry Hungry Hippos
- You Are An Interior Decorator
- Pottery's Gay
- Rich Goyette Is Gay
- Branscombe Richmond
- You Live In Allston
- You Are A Good Food Critic
- Just The Two Of Us
- Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin
- You're Gay
- You Look Adopted
- Your Cousin Is George Lynch
- You Have Goals
- You Drive An Iroc
- You Play On A Softball Team
- Because You're Old
- You Sell Cologne
- Being A Cobbler Is Dumb
- You Live In A Houseboat
- Richard Butler
- 311 Sucks
- Your Kid Is Deformed
- You Are An Orphan
- You're Old (Fuck You)
- You Go To Art School
- You're Best Friend Is You
- You're In A Coma
- Windchimes Are Gay
- No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band
- Reni Auberjonois
- Internet Is Gay
- Ha, Ha Your Wife Left You
- Hootie And The Blowfish
- You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)
- Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds
- Technology's Gay
- Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp
- I'm In Anal Cunt
- You (Fill In The Blank)
- Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache
- Bonus Track #3