Monsieur R. Monde

The bell on my door rang this morning
From the kitchen I called ";Who's that there?";
Through the letter box came a grappling hook
Which grappled me right out of my chair!
Stretched out on the floor I lay helpless
Of my limbs I had lost all command
When into my ear instilling fear
Said a voice ";I am Monsieur R. Monde";

";Monsieur R. Monde you are not!
That's an incredible thing to say
For I personally attended his funeral
which was twelve months to this very day!";
A rat flew down from the ceiling
Alighted upon my right ear
said ";If Monsieur R. Monde is safe under the sod
Then why are you shaking with fear!";

";My name is not Scrooge"; I said faintly
";and from ghosts I have nothing to fear!
But if you are R. Monde returned from the dead
Then what are you wanting here?";
From nowhere I heard a mad cackle
From nowhere a voice to me cried
";Stop calling me Monsieur R. Monde you fool!
My name's Jekyll and you're Mr. Hyde!";