Sex, Drugs, and RRSP's

As a little boy I dreamed of playing Rock and Roll
Playing in stadiums with every ticket sold
Seven figure income from a six string guitar
Dating gorgeous women and drivin' custom cars
Then it happened when my record went gold
Now I'm thinking what'll I do when I get old?
Can't live forever as the King of Rock
That's why I'm investing in some blue chip stock

I got SEX, DRUGS, and RRSPs
I'm a rock and roller with financial security
SEX, DRUGS and RRSPs
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

I'm a modern rebel with a cause
I like finding loopholes in the new tax laws
My fans are reading 'bout me in the Rolling Stone
While I'm talking to my broker on the telephone.
On stage I run around like some animal
But all my money's in a compound annual
This life is dangerous but I don't care
'Cause I got insurance on my guitar and my hair!

I got SEX, DRUGS, and RRSPs
I'm a rock and roller with financial security
SEX, DRUGS and RRSPs
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

We used to be such a happy band..
Phil and Nick and Bob and Stan
But Phil choked on his vomit
And then Nick choked on his vomit
And then Stan choked on his vomit
And then so did Bob.

WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!

Their deaths sure meant an awful lot to me
'Cause now I'm getting all their royalties
They would have spent them on women and booze
But me I got commodities that just can't lose!

I got SEX, DRUGS, and RRSPs
I'm a rock and roller with financial security
SEX, DRUGS and RRSPs
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

I got SEX, DRUGS, and RRSPs
I'm a rock and roller with financial security
SEX, DRUGS and RRSPs
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity.
I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity!!!
Hey guys, I brought beer!

History Is Made By Stupid People

Scott became famous for freezing to death in Antarctica
Columbus made history thinking some island was India
General Custer's a national hero for not knowing when to run
All of these men are famous
And they're also very dumb

History is made by stupid people
Clever people wouldn't even try
If you want a place in the history books
Then do something dumb before you die

Nobility are famous for no reason
Mary Antoinette enjoyed her cake
She caused a revolution when she would not share
And her husband lost his head for that mistake

The Hindenburg was a giant zepplin
Its makers made a minor oversight
Before they filled it up with explosive gas
They should have fixed the no-smoking light
'Cause...

History is made by stupid people
Clever people wouldn't even try
If you want a place in the history books
Then do something dumb before you die

Tally-ho! Tally-ho!
Our king and country's honour we will save!
Tally-ho! Tally-ho!
We're marching into history and the grave!

So if your son and daughter seem too lazy
Sitting there watching bad TV
Just remember you should be quite grateful
At least they are not making history
'Cause...

History is made by stupid people
Clever people wouldn't even try
If you want a place in the history books
Then do something dumb before you die
Yes...
Do something dumb before you die
Yes...
Do something dumb before you die