Fatty McGee

Performed by Adam Sandler, David Spade, Tim Herlihy, Steve Koren, and Tim Meadows

[Typical library sounds, squeekin chairs/doors]

[Talking quietly]
M1: ";Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man.";
M2: ";We just had a test a week ago. Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!";
M1: ";And it counts for 80 percent of our grade.";
M2: ";Well we better study our butts off.";
M1: ";Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library.";
M2: ";Ok, enough talking, let's study!";
M1: ";All right.";
[Turning pages]

[Heavy steps]
M2: ";Uh oh";
M1: ";Oh no! Fatty McGee is coming. We'll never get any studying done with him in the library.";
[Heavy steps continue]
M2: ";Oh god, he's taking the stairs! That means he's going to be way out of breath!";

[Fatty whining, try to catch breath]
M1: ";Oh no, he's going to sit with us.";
Fatty: [Annoying whining voice] ";Hey fellas, studying for the big test?";
M1: ";Uh, yes Fatty, we were.";
Fatty: [Still trying to catch breath] ";Great! I'll join ya.";
[Fatty pulls out chair and falls into it, still whining horribly]
M2: ";Hey Fatty, why don't you go to the bathroom 'till you catch your breath?";
Fatty: ";No, no, I'm catching it!";
[Fatty continuing to whine and snort]
M1: ";Ok, ok Fatty, but try to keep the wheezing level down, we're trying to concentrate.";
Fatty: [Continuing to wheeze and whine louder] ";Sure, no problem.";
M1: ";Oh man.";
Fatty: [Still snorting and whining loudly] ";This test counts for eighty percent of our grade, you know.";
[Whining continues even louder]
M1: ";Yes Fatty, we know, we just said that.";
[Wheezing continues a little softer]
M2: ";Fatty! Please keep it down!";

[Fatty makes snoring/whining sounds]

M2: ";Is he sleeping!?";
M1: ";No, it's his deviated sceptum. Seriously Fatty, keep the breathing down."; [Snoring stops, more weird noise starts]
M2: ";Ahh geez Fatty, what's wrong with you!?";
Fatty: [Pausing, snorting] ";I'm trying.";
[Whining continues]
M1: ";Fatty, you know what's going to happen! Stop breathing so heavy! Please we gotta study!";
[Whining gets higher and higher until it's continuous]
M2: ";Oh no, that one's going to do it!";

[Fire alarm sounding, fire trucks honking their horns, sirens reeling]
M2: ";Fatty, the fire department thinks the fire alarm went off again!";
Fatty: [Continuing his LOUD annoying whine] ";I'm sorry!";
Fireman Ray: ";Fire! Man the building!";
M1: ";Sorry Fireman Ray, it's not the fire alarm.";
Fireman Ray: ";Fatty McGee, is that you again!?";
Fatty: [Stillin whining annoyingly] ";Yes."; [Snort] ";Sorry."; [Snort]
Fireman Ray: ";Didn't we tell you not to take the stairs anymore!?";
Fatty: [Whiney voice] ";But I like the stairs!";
Fireman Ray: [annoyed] ";Why!?";
Fatty: [Still whining horribly] ";They're fun!";
Fireman Ray: ";Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!";
[Everyone laughing at stupid joke]
[Raspberry]