The Cheerleader

Performed by Adam Sandler and Steve Koren


[Sound of pom-poms]
Cheerleader: [With annoying feminine voice] ";Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!";
[Performing cheer]
Cheerleader: ";United, we are united.. We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!";
[No response]
Cheerleader: ";Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!";
[Still no response]
Cheerleader: ";Come on! The girls volleyball team's got a big game tonight! And we're gonna win 'cause we're the -";
Guy in crowd: ";Sit down!";
Cheerleader: ";You guys are assholes!"; [Whining] ";You think this is easy being a cheerleader!? Let's see you come down here and try it!";
Guy: ";Shut up!";
Cheerleader: ";You're the one who should be shutting up! This is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it! I paid for my pom-poms with my own money."; [Half-crying]
Guy: ";You suck!";
Cheerleader: [Hurt] ";I was gonna do a split for you guys, but now I'm not gonna cuz you guys don't appreciate anything.";
[Something hurled and hit Cheerleader]
Cheerleader: ";Owwww! Who threw that!? I'm gonna get a bruise now! I hate my school!"; [Whining]
[Crowd cheering softly in background]
Guy: ";We're sorry.";
[Pause]
Guy: ";Just kidding, you suck!";
Cheerleader: [Half-crying] ";Ahhaw..No...";