Single Second

oh my god! my god this can't be happening!
god tell me, tell me this isn't real!
i can't believe all that i have foreseen is finally happening.
i cannot for a single second stand the way i feel.
i always knew.
i always saw it coming.
enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.
i've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing,
i never wanted to cease to exist,
just disappear.
fear memories are all that lie ahead.
never have i felt so lost.
memories dull my senses.
fear tragedy is all that lies ahead.
never have i felt so dead.
once felt so warm, no i'm fucking freezing.
i am the once embraced abandoned one.
i raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing;
no relief was mine,
i was burnt, by the sun.